You know that ride at amusement parks that has the half dome that comes behind you? The seats are usually padded and there’s a wheel so you can spin yourself silly? I feel like I’ve been on one for 2 weeks now. My brain feels like scrambled eggs. Plus in this technological age, it sure is hard to avoid looking at technology, too (which makes it worse). Added to the low BP problem, it physically took me out this week (thank You, Lord for making me feel a little better today).
God won’t ever give us more than we can handle……..but sometimes, it sure feels like it. When we don’t understand what’s going on with our own bodies or when we get stuck in cruddy situations, it can seem overwhelming and never-ending. And it sure came at an inconvenient time……according to me. BUT, I don’t believe in accident or coincidence, so there must be a reason. I might never get to know that reason either. But, to be honest…..God owes me no explanation. So, it’s irrelevant. Once again, it’s not about me.
Now, I can give in to the frustration and throw myself an enormous pity party OR I can keep trusting my Creator regardless of my feelings. It’s my choice. My feelings don’t have to dictate my actions. I can’t control getting those feelings, but I don’t have to be their slave. The bible tells me so in Galatians 5:22-25 (NLT):
But, the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. There is no law against these things. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to His cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in EVERY part of our lives.
I’m not a huge fan of comparing myself to others, due to the fact that we are not the same, but things could definitely be worse. My little brother’s childhood friend’s mom was in a horrific accident on Tuesday; broken and fused neck, mangled arm, leg broken into 3 pieces, and that’s just the stuff they had to do emergency surgery on. The list of the damage took my sister 10 minutes to repeat. (Prayers for “K” and the dump truck driver she collided with, please!) Neither one remembered the accident.
I don’t want to be a complainer. Thats what the Israelites did. They were stuck in the wilderness for 40 years and it hindered their prayers. I’ve spent more than my allotted time in “the wilderness ” in past lessons from God. I want to conquer what He puts in front of me, not sink under the weight of it. But, my flesh sucks! I can’t do anything on my own power (not even breathe and that’s a basic function). My strength is like an overcooked spaghetti noodle; limp and soggy.
But God is good, despite the fact that my feelings sometimes tell me He’s mean and wants me to suffer for the awful things I’ve done in life. That is me letting the enemy lie to me. I love how the Amplified version of John 10:10 says:
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came so that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance
(to the full, til it OVERFLOWS).
Until it overflows! We can be so filled with Him that we overflow, even when it feels like we are useless and miserable. But, it’s a choice. Maybe I, like my new friend “P”, can help someone through this in the future like she is helping me (she endured fainting for 6 years and her daughter suffers it too). We might not have connected the way we did otherwise and I am extremely blessed to know her.
God really does know what He’s doing. I just need a need to let go of the reigns and let Him do what He’s doing. We were never promised a pain free life. It’s actually how we learn and grow. So, do what You do Lord. I’m Yours.